United We're Strong - Episode 2

In 2012, United Way of Peel Region embarked on a community engagement project through the creation of a 4 part television series entitled, "United We're Strong".

Its a television show produced for Rogers Television (Cable 10 Mississauga) that inspires people to come together and improve the quality of life in Brampton, Caledon and Mississauga.

As a long time supporter of the United Way, I was honored when they asked me to host the series.  Here's a link to episode #2 in which I speak to Sharon Douglas (United Way of Peel Region), Sandy Milakovic (Canadian Mental Health Association/Peel Branch), Karen Anslow (Nexus Youth Services & PCC) and Dan Dimitroff (Peel Regional Police) about issues concerning youth and mental health issues in Peel.

Check it out!

United We're Strong - Episode 2 from United Way of Peel Region on Vimeo.


See you on the court! Follow me on Twitter @TheAudman
 

37 Keys To Happiness And A Happier Life

The phrase “Don’t worry be happy” just have been expounded.  Happiness is officially defined as a state of well-being brought about by enjoying, showing, or marked by contentment, pleasure, satisfaction or joy. There are some keys that will help us  get to a state of feeling happiness and it really isn’t rocket science. 

1. Be here, now – Living in the present is the only minute that we can control. The past is gone and the future isn’t here yet.
2. Remain aware – While living in the moment, be aware of everything that is making that moment possible.
3. Gratitude – Appreciation for everything big and small is a vital key to happiness.
4. Accept that it isn’t easy – We are all different, but there is for sure one thing that is the same; life is often difficult and filled with adversity. If we accept this truth, the painful times are a little easier to bear.
5. Let your body lead you – Our physical body will let us know what it needs, (rest, sleep, fun, food, water, shelter, warmth) so listen and accommodate it.
6. Be comfortable in your skin – You have beauty of the body and the soul. If you don’t believe it, ask someone that loves you and they will agree with me.
7. Let go of fear – Happiness is strangled and suffocated by fear. Face your fears, see them as they really are (the product of memory, which dwells in the past) and overcome them. You can’t improve the past with actions in the present. Accept it and move on fearlessly into the future.
8. Become resilient – You know yourself best, so learn techniques that will guide you to bouncing back resiliently during and after difficult experiences.
9. Friendly relationships – We are all social beings and cultivating strong relationships reinforces our positive self-image.
10. You are smart enough – People with the highest IQ’s are not capable of any more happiness than those with the lowest IQ’s. Why? Often, people who are smarter also have higher expectations of themselves and life which keeps their state of happiness equal to everyone else’s level.
11. Accept change – Sure! Just hand me all your dimes, nickles and quarters. What? Oh, not that kind of change? Alright, change is not easy to accept, but I am trying to do it with a semblance of grace. Change happens every day to every one, so the sooner you can find peace with the whole concept of change, the more happiness you will find in your life.
12. Peace, be still – Meditating and remaining in touch with our inner dialogue is a vital key to finding, being and remaining in a state of happiness.
13. Enjoy the journey – Nurturing and attaining goals is great, but as I always say, “Stop and smell the roses” or in other words, enjoy the journey.
14. You’re all you need – Other people can influence your happiness in a positive or negative way, but they are not needed in order for you to have happiness in your life. Love yourself.
15. Manage stress – If you don’t manage stress, it will manage you and take your straight to an early grave. Stress causes so many problems in the body that it literally will kill you. I don’t know a better reason to learn to manage your stress than that, so having control of this part of life is definitely a key to having happiness.
16. Let it be – Over analyzing every little aspect of life, our thoughts and feelings is unnecessary. Take the time to just enjoy, observe and give up trying to figure everything out. Women could take a lesson from men with this key to happiness.
17. Marriage – Although marriage is not all white lace and roses, it is still a scientifically proven fact that people who are married, live longer and are happier. Just for clarification, cohabiting does not have the same positive effect as marriage. Obviously, the piece of paper and gold band have a magical happiness power that some speculate as a great proof of commitment and love.
18. Approval by one – Relinquish your need for external approval because the only opinion that really counts is your own. Have an unconditional self-acceptance and self-love.
19. To thine own self be true – Learn who you are and what makes you tick. Become empowered with a clarity of your authentic self.
20. Focus – Older people have it all going on and can teach us all a very valuable lesson about an important key to happiness. As we age, it seems natural to focus on the things that make us happy and ignore or banish all the things that negatively impact our happiness. Think about it, when you’re 95 years old, every experience is a little richer because it could be the last time you get to live it.
21. Be satisfied – Keeping up with the neighbors does not bring happiness. If you want what you have, you’ll have what you want along with the happiness associated with the feeling of being satisfied.
22. More is not necessarily better – Studies have shown that once your basic needs are met, money only seems to add to your happiness if you already feel happy. It doesn’t bring you permanent happiness.
23. Faith – Whether you believe in God, a Higher Power or something else, exhibiting faith in something greater than our self creates security and gives us a purpose in life. Feeling an ultimate direction for our existence leads to happiness.
24. You’re not alone – In case you didn’t know it, there are billions of other human beings inhabiting the planet. We are all connected in many ways, so no matter what you’re going through, someone else is going through the same thing. Remember the movie “Cast Away” with Tom Hanks? As he carried on conversations with the volleyball named Wilson, I was very aware of how important it is that we are all in this experience of life together.
25. Let go of anger – Anger stifles forgiveness and the unforgiving spirit finds happiness to be elusive. Face the circumstance with a greater understanding and anger will subside as you learn to cope. A key point to remember is that just because you forgive, it doesn’t mean that what happened wasn’t wrong. It just means that you aren’t going to let that emotion or the circumstance control you or your future.
26. Listen – Communication is such a major key to having solid relationships. When I had my manly communication epiphany, I started to watch how men and women relate with each other on a daily basis. It is totally fascinating! In our conversations with both genders, it is important to truly listen and to ensure the atmosphere is conducive to great communication.
27. Don’t sleep with dogs – Growing up I remember my mother saying, “If you sleep with dogs, you’ll wake up with fleas.” Well, I eventually understood the message. If you are surrounded by negative people filled with hate, their attitude will greatly influence you. The inner you is reflected by what you do, where you go and who you choose to spend time with on a daily basis. If you wake up with fleas, happiness is usually very far away.
28. Give unselfishly – An unselfish heart and charitable spirit, gives much, but receives more. Happiness can always be found in giving unselfishly of our money, time and talents. Be generous with yourself…often.
29. Strengths, not weaknesses – No one is perfect. Don’t expect perfection of others or yourself and I guarantee that happiness will be much easier. It is great to want to improve, but understand that you won’t ever be able to fix everything.
30. Smile – It is said often, but that doesn’t diminish the importance of putting a smile on your face every day.Happiness smiles.
31. You’re the boss – You are in control of all your actions, so don’t set yourself up with predestined unhappiness.
32. Judge not – Not only shouldn’t you judge others, but don’t judge yourself. Happiness gets bogged down when consumed with a judgmental mindset.
33. Give up the bad stuff – If this comes across as bossy or preachy, I’m sorry, but give up the toxic things that are bad for your body and soul. You know the normal things like drugs, cigarettes and alcohol, but even things like tanning, over eating and abusive relationships are things that can drag every bit of happiness into the toilet.
34. Courage – I know that it is not easy to be courageous in the face of tribulation and fear. Courage, however, is one of the most important keys to obtaining happiness.
35. Persevere – People who give up don’t succeed. People who keep going, not only succeed, but they are also much happier.
36. All or nothing – Be in your life, activities and relationships, all the way, one hundred and fifty percent.
37. Be like a cow – Have you ever watched how a cow roams around the pasture totally content with eating grass, mooing and relaxing? Be content with yourself. After all, you are an original.

SOURCE: THERYANSTEVENS

See you on the court! Follow me on Twitter @TheAudman

Here's Why I Support The United Way...

We all have reasons why we're motivated to give, support or stand up for a cause.  In my case, I've been a long time supporter of the work of the United Way and its member agencies for almost 15 years because  I think the work they do to build the capacity of our communities is so important to the growth and strengthening of our overall society. So when they approached me and gave me a chance to tell my own personal story as to why I give them my time, energy and money year after year, I jumped at the opportunity.

Check out the video below:


Audley's story from United Way of Peel Region on Vimeo.


See you on the court! Follow me on Twitter @TheAudman

Engagement: The Jean Luc--Picard Way!

Many would remember the character Jean-Luc Picard played by Patrick Stewart from the popular television show, "Star Trek: The Next Generation".

Picard was that self-assured, confident and reliable 24th Century Starfleet captain who guided his crew of the USS Enterprise across the endless reaches of space basically moving from one adventure to the next.  Whether it was doing battle with Klingons or resisting the Borg, Picard could always be counted on to be that fearless leader who his team could rely on.

I loved the show a lot and was really drawn to the cast of compelling characters from Data the android to first officer William Riker.  The occasional Whoopi Goldberg sighting was quite enjoyable as well. Overall, all the characters were great but by far, Jean-Luc was always the most appealing one to me.

He had a confidence and assertiveness to him that came across loud and clear and there was never a doubt that he was unsure or uncertain of what he was saying or what he wanted from others.  For example, look at the signature phrase he used to order for the Enterprise to blast off onto the next mission.  

It merely consisted of one word, "Engage!" 

That's it! No extended speech, no rant or no diatribe.

But the best part about it was that the entire crew got it and knew what exactly needed to be done.

The irony with Picard's one word command and hand gesture is that the actual process of engagement between leaders, coaches or star fleet captains is that it goes beyond just saying one word.


Effective leaders recognize that a key component of a healthy thriving organization is a well thought out and even better executed engagement strategy.  They also know that a foundational piece of a sustainable engagement is the strength of our relationships with others that include trust, respect and transparency.

So bearing that in mind, here are a few suggestions on some great ways leaders can engage those around them:

• Play your position - Allowing team members do or be a part of things they enjoy will increase the likelihood of maintaining their level of interest and connection to the organization;

• Stick to the clipboard - Clear messages that don't contradict previous directions will help ensure that you can be followed and your destination is clear;  

• High five - Appropriate recognition or praise tells others that their efforts are appreciated and valued;

• Keep the scoreboard running - Ideally any person on the team or in the organization should be able to clearly articulate where the organization is going; 

• Step up your game - Be supportive of team member's individual growth development;

• Be a point guard - Empower others so they can freely make their own decisions, this will likely increase their accountability because they have ownership of the decisions made.
  

If the organization or culture demonstrates that it cares about its followers then they'll be more apt to do things like stay late to finish a project, put in extra practice time to improve their game or stand up to the Borg for the sake of the universe.

So my messages to leaders and coaches is quite simple: Make It So!

See you on the court! Follow me on Twitter @TheAudman
 

The Pug That Everybody Loved!

I've never really considered myself much of a dog lover but much to my surprise a short, wrinkled faced Pug  recently put that belief to the test.  It was a warm day in the middle of September and I was sitting at an outdoor patio having lunch with my friend Nancy.  As we were enjoying the weather in a shaded area away from the blazing sun, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a white coated Pug who was having its leash secured to a fence by its owner.  She apparently was about to do a bit of shopping at the grocery store and intended on leaving her dog outside.

There was a slight breeze that would reveal itself from time to time but if you didn't have the protection of the shade, the intensity of the sun made sitting outside a bit uncomfortable.  As the owner gave her dog a rub behind the ears and headed into the grocery store, you could almost immediately tell that she was going to be sorrowly missed.  The Pug started off with a mild whimper that slowly grew in both volume and duration, while at the same time stretching its head up in the air and rotating it in a telescope like fashion as it searched for its owner.  The little Pug definitely got our attention but soon we weren't the only ones. 

Perhaps it was my own ignorance as a non-dog guy but I have to admit that I was caught off guard at the number of passerbys who took a moment to pause from whatever it is they were doing to show concern for the little Pug.  Because Nancy and I were the only ones in the vicinity, we were asked numerous times, "Is that your dog?" or "Do you know where his owner is?"

At one point, a group of about a half of dozen people walked by and each and every one of them stopped to acknowledge the dog in some way.  Including a young lady who went so far as getting a plastic container filled with cold water for the Pug to drink.

By this time, the little Pug was soaking up all the attention (literally) and acts of kindness and was clearly loving it. The one that probably floored me the most had to be the guy who stopped and gave the dog a drink out of his own metal water bottle!

I'm not kidding!


After reflecting on that experience a couple days later and replaying the image of a happy little Pug bouncing up and down because of all the attention he was getting, I spent some time thinking about how much of an impact we can have if we stopped and took the time to notice others?  What kind of difference can we make to someone's day if we sacrificed a little bit of our own? The possibilities are truly endless and the ability to do so lies in our hands.

I've written numerous times about the fact that leadership isn't defined by title or position, it has much more to do with the difference and impact we can make.  The situation will always determine what that looks like so don't count on the approach always being the same.  In the case of the Pug, a rub behind the ears was sufficient but I'm guessing that the people in your world will most likely need a bit more.


See you on the court! Follow me on Twitter @TheAudman

 

ACTIVATE Youth Leadership Conference

This past week I had the honor and privilege of conducting a leadership development seminar to a group of volunteer leaders that were delegates of the ACTIVATE Youth Leadership Forum. 

ACTIVATE is a national youth leadership program that aims to inspire and support the youth-led development and delivery of sport and active recreational programs in communities across Canada, while facilitating youth engagement and leadership in the process.

The program takes an innovative approach to fulfilling Motivate Canada’s Youth-Driven Development framework by creating a constantly expanding network of youth leaders that can spread their knowledge and empowerment to other youth.  I found the group to be personally inspiring and I immensely enjoyed my time hearing about the programs and ideas they were looking at instituting in their respective communities all across Ontario. 

 ACTIVATE Ontario 2012 Conference 

Given the nature of the program and the magnitude of the initiatives they were about to undertake, I felt that the topic of CHANGE was an appropriate one to discuss with the group.  Since leaders are the ones who help drive change, it only made sense that we broke down its six key components and discuss some of the things they could do as leaders to support the change process. 

They were a wonderful group to present to with a lot of good energy but more importantly, they all were highly motivated to give back to their communities through the development of programs and projects that would have an impact and make a difference on the next generation of leaders after them.

As they individually shared what they intended on doing when they returned to their respective homes, I couldn't help but be in awe of what I was listening to.  Their drive, sense of responsibility and passion for wanting to bring about change brought a sense of comfort over me on the drive back home.  Knowing that these youth would be the next wave of leaders responsible for moving our society forward left me feeling excited about what the future has in store.

Congratulations to all of you! 

See you on the court! 

 
Follow me on Twitter @TheAudman 

The World Doesn’t Stop When Bad Things Happen So Why Should You?

As a lifelong follower of basketball and avid hoops fan, I've come to appreciate the important life lessons the game has to offer. When I was a teenager, I religiously followed the on court exploits of players like Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson not realizing that the benefits would be more than just entertainment.

The life lessons of persevering through adversity, determination and hope were glaringly obvious when my eldest daughter, Vanessa became involved with organized basketball.  It provided me with a great opportunity to teach what I learned.  She was about nine years old when she started and played until her mid teens. As a “basketball dad”, I naturally was excited that she gravitated to a game that I loved. Despite this, I made a point of making it clear that the decision to start or stop was always hers to make.

During the practices, I used to sit on the sidelines and observe with the other parents as her coaches ran through various drills and plays. Despite knowing the game well enough to coach, I didn’t interfere with whatever instruction given by her coaches. I played a support role and left the “real coaching” for the car rides to and from practices and games. I remember one instance when Vanessa wasn’t feeling particularly well and experienced severe cramping just before practice started. I gave her the option of skipping out and taking a break but she insisted on going.

She got to about the half way mark when the pain of the cramping intensified and I noticed Vanessa really started to struggle and was moving significantly slower than her teammates.

Her inability to keep up slowed down the practice considerably and I could sense the agitation level in her coach rising. He perceived it as “lack of effort” or not trying on her part. My natural instinct as a parent was jump in pull her out of the situation and take her home but I held back and decided it would be best to let the situation play itself out.

At one point, Vanessa gingerly jogged by me during one of the drills with tears in her eyes. As I offered her water, I gave her the option of calling it quits. She declined and pushed on.

Her coach became infuriated and abruptly ended practice citing lack of effort by a "particular individual" as the reason. Vanessa was pretty upset during the “car ride” home and the tears flowed profusely the moment the door slammed shut. I have to admit that as I was consoling her, I was extremely curious about why she insisted on continuing forward with practice despite the obvious pain so I asked. She responded by simply saying, “I didn’t want to quit”.

Vanessa learned a very important lesson that day in perseverance and as a parent I couldn’t be any more thrilled. You see, the ability to fight the tough times is a skill that all children will need as they progress through their personal journey into adulthood and the earlier they’re equipped and understand its importance, the better.

One of the hard realities of life is that there will be days when things won’t go our way and you're going to want to quit.  Take heart in the fact that persevering through adversity and demonstrating resiliency will be the difference maker between you reaching your goals or not.  

I recently had an opportunity to listen to the incredible story of Kevin Rempel who's a member of Sledge Team Canada. You see, it was Kevin's dream to be a pro dirt bike racer but after an accident in 2002 that saw him fall from a height of nearly 30 feet, he became a paraplegic.

Despite being told by the doctors that he too would never walk again, Kevin wasn’t willing to take that answer. After months of intense therapy, he got back out of the wheelchair and back on his bike. In just one year, he kicked it over and went riding again.

His sledge hockey team has their eyes on  a gold medal from the next Paralympics in Sochi, Russia in 2014!  

Congratulations Kevin!

You can read more about Kevin's inspiring story by visiting his website.

Being resilient means bouncing back despite the number of times you've been pushed down and believe me, you will get pushed but at the end of the day you have the final call as to how far you'll end up because  nothing is truly over unless you believe it is.

The world doesn’t stop when bad things happen so why should you?










See you on the court!

Follow me on Twitter @TheAudman